Listening to: Happy Cycling - Boards of Canada
I'm not a spitwad really. I just like to big myself up a bit in front of you lot. I've got to compensate somehow, haven't I.
Anyway, I just wanted to say that - yes! - I am in fact alive, shockingly. I can't believe it either. Some stuff has kind of happened, I suppose? Oh well. I'll put it in anyway, for old time's sake.
Last week I went to see someone from this place that helps wee ones like me get jobs and relevant work experience so I hope to start that soon. I actually get to choose what I want to do for work experience this time - instead of just being shoved in a charity shop regardless - and there's a higher chance of getting a job at the end of it, so hurrah! I don't really want to cheer too much because I realise that most things I cheer about ultimately never come to be, and afterwards I feel a little silly for getting excited over something that, in retrospect, was nothing to get so excited about, but I can't help it. Most of my faith has been lost but deep down inside I'm still a daft little kid who thinks ANYTHING positive is very exciting. This is also (possibly) more likely to happen than, say, getting a job after being offered one interview (speaking of which, I have been incredibly bad with interviews recently, and sort of messed up some fairly important ones, so this is extra extra important to me).
On a similar note, I had stopped doing compulsory work experience - mainly because the place I was doing it at had to shut down for about a month due to renovations and that, and partly because my suspension had compelled me to just not go in, ever - but now they've said that I have to start doing it again, and gave me a new placement. I was due to start on Friday, which I didn't because, well, I was at the job centre talking about important things as described in the above paragraph. So I was going to start yesterday, but, again, didn't, because the more I hear about the actions of the conservative government, the less able I am to stand being exploited because of my vulnerable position in society for the benefit of a few toff scumbags with no slither of decency at all. I've found it incredibly difficult to push myself to do anything at all like that. The degradation is overwhelming, especially when you still have smug politicians telling you how lazy you are, and how being unemployed makes you low enough to be treated like a criminal, and - worst of all! - when they insist that they are trying to help you, in the most condescending way possible, because we all know that the reality is they aren't at all. Each day I hear something new that the government wants to introduce that enrages me. They are desperate to be out with human rights laws, and instead write up their own. Oh boy. I've gotten off track. I hate the English government a lot, that's all.
So, uh. Huh. That's pretty much it, I think. I've been fairly busy recently, with various appointments and so forth. Things are still pretty unstable and still pretty woeful and lonesome and boo hoo hoo, poor me, you know how it is. As always, I hope that things will change very, very soon. I'm proper fed up, aye.